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Friday, February 11, 2011

9th Anniversary

February 11th, 2011 – The 9th Anniversary

9 Thanksgivings, 9 Christmas’s, 9 New Year’s, 9 Birthday’s, & now the 9th Valentine without you…9 years without you has been long and difficult…I am grateful that I have what little, but strong, family to share memories of you with and I cherish the little time that I got to have with you as a child. Between Mom, Zane, and me, we are invincible when we think of you and when we remember all the wonderful days and adventures. You were so strong a person, and so loving and dedicated as a father.

I can’t help but to wish for a few things:

Wish #1 – that you could have been there when your grandson was born.

Wish #2 – that you could have been there when your grandson did his first steps and words.

Wish #3 – that you were there when I first learned to drive and to teach me.

Wish #4 – that you could have seen my face when I got my scholarship.

Wish #5 – that you could have seen me step into my official career.

Wish #6 – that you were there when I needed a hug as life fell apart.

Wish #7 – that you could see how strong Mom could be even when everyone was against her.

Wish #8 – that you could see the future that I am carving and fighting for, for Zane.

Wish #9 – that you could see the leaps Mom, Zane, and I have made together through our struggles since your departure and the collapse of our family.

Above all else and wishes aside, I can’t wish for you to be back because I’ve realized now that there are things that never would have happened, a child that wouldn’t have been born, and strengths unexplored if you had stayed. It hurts so much to say it and so much to admit it, and I cry every time. I used to wish so feverently that you never died, but I know now that it was not wise to wish such things. I sure miss you Dad, and hope that everything is well.

Love you always & forever,

Victoria, Lorraine, and Zane

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