My Reality Today

My buddy "Reality" and I are wonderful friends. We've had our disagreements and I've kicked and screamed at Reality many times for the evils endured, but I can look back and see the benefits.

I first met Reality when I was 4. I didn't understand at the time, but now I see that Reality showed me the dark & cruel side of the human persona. Then when I was 7, Reality introduced me to the concept of hidden truths. At 12, it put me through the trials of heavy heartache and loss (miss you, Dad). At 17, it showed me the hypocrisy of the human identity, but rewarded me with a beautiful & healthy son. I am happy to say that at 21, I can successfully apply all these hardships to my daily life.

Thank-you, Reality, for being a great friend and teaching me. I wouldn't be "me" without you. I'm looking forward to the years to come.

9th Anniversary

February 11^th, 2011 – The 9^th Anniversary

9 Thanksgivings, 9 Christmas’s, 9 New Year’s, 9 Birthday’s, & now the 9^th Valentine without you…9 years without you has been long and difficult…I am grateful that I have what little, but strong, family to share memories of you with and I cherish the little time that I got to have with you as a child. Between Mom, Zane, and me, we are invincible when we think of you and when we remember all the wonderful days and adventures. You were so strong a person, and so loving and dedicated as a father.

I can’t help but to wish for a few things:

Wish #1 – that you could have been there when your grandson was born.

Wish #2 – that you could have been there when your grandson did his first steps and words.

Wish #3 – that you were there when I first learned to drive and to teach me.

Wish #4 – that you could have seen my face when I got my scholarship.

Wish #5 – that you could have seen me step into my official career.

Wish #6 – that you were there when I needed a hug as life fell apart.

Wish #7 – that you could see how strong Mom could be even when everyone was against her.

Wish #8 – that you could see the future that I am carving and fighting for, for Zane.

Wish #9 – that you could see the leaps Mom, Zane, and I have made together through our struggles since your departure and the collapse of our family.

Above all else and wishes aside, I can’t wish for you to be back because I’ve realized now that there are things that never would have happened, a child that wouldn’t have been born, and strengths unexplored if you had stayed. It hurts so much to say it and so much to admit it, and I cry every time. I used to wish so feverently that you never died, but I know now that it was not wise to wish such things. I sure miss you Dad, and hope that everything is well.

Love you always & forever,

Victoria, Lorraine, and Zane